Lunchbreak-extender, goosebump-inducer, full-blown all office obsession:
A Haunting on Discovery Channel. Two episodes of spine tingling flop-sweat terror back to back from 1-3 pm EST. True stories of actual hauntings brilliantly re-enacted by community theater superstars that somehow ring true. Narrated by the victims themselves (often only backlit to protect their preexisting anonymity), these fear-bombs will have even the most skeptical questioning their doubt of poorly dressed spirits and wondering "WHY DON"T THEY JUST F+*%ING MOVE??!?" Here's why: They always follow. Never fear if it happens to you, though. A strange overabundance of paranormal investigators will inevitably be sitting behind you at the diner when you tell your friend a clown doll floated up the stairs and braided your hair while you slept. A MUST SEE.
So now you won't worry about why we sound a little strange on the phone between one and two in the afternoon; a single viewing and you will as well.
Kids are portals to the afterworld.